we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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