Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
