If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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