Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
