Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize