we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
