Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is wine microwaveable?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
