Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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