This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
