I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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