Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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