I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
