You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
