"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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