Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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