There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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