I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up under a house in Key West
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
