I wannas sexs uuuuu
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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