She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Found the puke drawer
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
