will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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