Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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