I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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