We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
