So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
