I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
