It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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