omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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