Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
