dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize