she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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