Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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