every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
