I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have tasted many bathrooms
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
