No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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