come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
