OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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