my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
