kristin has been a bad kristin
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
