Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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