his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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