If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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