fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize