He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
And then he peed in my hair
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