how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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