I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
