When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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