He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
