This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
