I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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