you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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