In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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