it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
