So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
