they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
