Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
