I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
