we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
