loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
