Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
