Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize