I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
