then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
