I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think your dad took our porno
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
