1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
