Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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